


Exist

by anundefineddreamer



Series: A Defective Angel and A Respectable Demon [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Ending, F/M, Megstiel - Freeform, Metafiction, Post-Stairway to Heaven, Series, Supernatural Season Nine, do you believe in miracles?, part one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2014-06-28
Packaged: 2018-02-03 06:12:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1734020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anundefineddreamer/pseuds/anundefineddreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Meg awakens along the side of a road near a sign that read 833 County. All she can remember is the electricity coursing through her veins after she was stabbed with that angel blade by Crowley. Of course, that would mean she was dead. There was no way in Hell she could survive that. That brings forth the question: how was she alive?</p><p>Is it possible to be brought back from a state of non-existence? Is there anything powerful enough to do such a thing?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Awake, Aware...Alive.

**Author's Note:**

> This starts out a bit slow. Background information must be stated in order for the story to make sense, so I apologize for it not being quite as exciting right away. As the story progresses, there will be shocks and lovely smut. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> ♥ Jess
> 
> -UPDATE-
> 
> This work has been completed as of June 28, 2014. Thank you for making this story possible.
> 
> As of July 16, 2014, part two of this series has been started.

> “Are we just dreaming in the city that never sleeps?
> 
> ‘Cause I can’t be seeing what my eyes tell me.
> 
> Am I just dreaming?
> 
> This can't be in my veins.
> 
> Everything I ever knew will never be the same.”
> 
> – Bring Me The Horizon “Chasing Rainbows”

She pushed herself up off the ground and looked down at her meatsuit. Her outfit consisted of the blue jacket, black shirt, dark jeans, studded belt and black boots that she was wearing when she died. She grabbed a fistful of her hair and glanced at it.

“ _Yep_ ,” she thought to herself. “ _Still fucking blonde… I better fix that_.”

Suddenly, she remembered something, and immediately, her hand went to her side. It was still there. That angel blade she had stolen from Castiel held close to her by her belt. For some odd reason, it brought her comfort. She heaved a sigh of relief before she turned her mind to the more important matter at hand… How did she exist? She had felt the remains of her tormented soul crackle and burn up when that blade pierced through her. She racked her brain for any recollection of anything that would have led her here. Nothing came to mind. She began to check her pockets for something that could help. As she checked her left jacket pocket, her hand brushed against a piece of paper. She pulled it out and started to read it…

_"I cannot tell you why you are alive…that would spoil all the fun. I will; however, point you in the direction of someone who can help. Though I do not know their exact location, the Winchesters currently reside in what is known as Lebanon, Kansas. I will be in contact with you shortly Miss Masters. Maybe then, I will explain to you why your existence is of the utmost importance."_

There was nothing that would identify who or what wrote the note, but she knew what her next move would be. “Next stop: Lebanon, Kansas.”

She felt like she had been walking for hours when she finally saw a Midway Co-op Station come into her vision. She heard the little bell ring as she walked inside. She looked around for a cashier, so she could ask where she was. Instead, a familiar gargantuan filled her view.

“Well, well, well, if it isn't the infamous Bullwinkle…” Meg sneered.

Sam Winchester spun around as if he had heard the voice of a ghost.

“Meg?” he exclaimed in utter shock.

“Who else would it be?” she laughed.

“Well, someone who is alive for starters.”

“I'll give ya that one. I don't even know how I’m alive. This is all I know.”

She handed Sam the note. He read it over carefully with a puzzled expression.

“I have no idea who could have written this, or what they could possibly mean by someone who can help. Dean and I don't have any answers or help for you. I guess we can offer you a place to stay… You did help us in the past, and I guess we owe you one… Dean won't be happy…”

He was immediately cut off by Meg, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘I GUESS’? I SACRIFICED MY DAMN LIFE FOR YOUR DUMB ASSES!”

Sam felt a wave of guilt hit him in the gut. She was absolutely right.

“Meg, I know it doesn't mean much now but thank you for that. It was an amazing thing for you – a demon – to sacrifice your life for anyone. If it’s any consolation, Cas made it out okay…”

He was interrupted again by Meg, “What makes you think I even care?”

“Well, you did ask me to ‘save your unicorn’.”

She blushed as she recalled her words. “Yeah…I guess I did…”

“Back to the matter at hand, you can stay with Dean and me. He won't be happy about it, but we do owe you. We'll do what we can to help you figure everything out, but we have a bigger matter at hand…”

“Bigger?”

“I'll explain on the way there, but I need you to wear this blindfold. You can't see where we're going.”

“Whatever you say, Bullwinkle. Whatever you say…” she muttered as he led her out to the Impala and left the pie sitting on the counter in the gas station.


	2. Reunited... And It Feels So Good.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meg finally arrives at the "Bat Cave" and is reunited with a familiar face. A delicious encounter indeed...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you made it through the beginning alright. Now, the real fun begins...
> 
> ♥ Jess

> "Stay for tonight.
> 
> If you want to,
> 
> I can show you what my dreams are made of as I'm dreaming of your face.
> 
> I've been away for a long time - such a long time - and I miss you there.
> 
> I can't imagine being anywhere else.
> 
> I can't imagine being anywhere else but here."
> 
> \- Sleeping With Sirens "If I'm James Dean, You're Aubrey Hepburn"

 Meg tore off the blindfold as she stepped inside the Men-of-Letter's Bunker. 

"Miss me Deanikins?" she laughed as she sauntered down the staircase.

However, she stopped dead in her tracks when a familiar face turned to look at her in awe. Castiel's eyes lit up when he heard her sultry voice.

"Meg! It's been ages since we've heard from you! Where have you been? In hiding, no doubt about it. Come on over! Dean and I were just discussing some important manners involving the fallen angels. You could help..."

He was cut off by Meg, "Whoa! Slow down there, tree-topper! I'm guessing no one told you what happened that night we were last together looking for the angel tablet..."

Dean and Sam exchanged worried glances.

"What do you mean...?" Cas asked with that same clueless expression he always wore.

Suddenly, it hit him... That empty, lonely feeling he felt after that night. The way he felt the need to pick Clarence as his alias when he was human, and the way it hurt whenever someone called him by that name. The way that eating peanut butter made him feel less heartbroken. (It tasted of her lips. Meg unconsciously tasted of peanut butter.) Castiel's expression changed from perplexed to depressed to enraged in a matter of minutes. He shot a glare to both Sam and Dean and growled, "Why didn't anyone think to tell me about Meg's death? Why didn't you tell me?"

Dean started, "Well, she's just a demon..."

"Just a demon?! Wrong. She's a demon who cared for me when you two left me in the hospital as a drooling mess. A demon who has helped us on SEVERAL occasions. A demon who sacrificed herself, so we could escape. She's way more than just a demon, and you two should give her more credit."

The Winchesters proceeded to stare at the ground and shift their feet uncomfortably - almost in unison. 

"Well said Clarence. Well said," Meg applauded. "I'm glad to see someone cares about me."

Castiel blushed slightly. "You deserve it," he mumbled after a brief pause.

An awkward silence filled the room. Suddenly, Dean looked over in Sam's direction. "Did you remember the pie?" he blurted.

"I always remember the..." Sam looked down at his hands as he recalled that he left the pie sitting on the counter of the gas station.

Dean sighed, "Don't tell me you forgot the pie..."

Sam looked sheepish. "I forgot the pie..." he muttered.

"Well, I guess we better go buy some then." He looked at both Cas and Meg. "You two... Stay out of trouble while we're gone, you hear?"

Meg strolled over to Dean. "Don't you worry, Deanikins. Your pretty angel here will keep an eye on me to make sure I don't do anything, right Clarence?"

Castiel nodded.

As Sam and Dean headed out the door, Dean mumbled, "That's not what I meant."

 ~

After the Winchesters closed the door of the bunker, Meg smirked at Castiel. "So Cas, nice job defending me."

"It was the least I could do... You've done so much for us."

"I definitely appreciate your concern."

A brief silence passed between the angel and the demon before Meg finally spoke.

"Do you remember our agreement about moving furniture?" she inquired with a seductive edge to her voice.

"How could I ever forget?" Cas smiled a knowing smile towards her vicinity.

 She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Then put up or shut up," she whispered.

He pulled her close and flew her to his temporary room given to him by the Winchesters. He closed and locked the door behind them. There was no need for the brothers to see anything that was about to happen. 

He immediately turned around and grabbed Meg tight by the waist.

"I've waited for a long time to do this," he hummed into her ear.

"You know exactly what to say to make a woman all warm and tingly down there, don't cha?"

He responded by drawing her mouth up with force and tonguing the inside of her cheek. She moaned a little into his mouth as she let him take her over.

Usually, she was the dominant one in sexual situations, but she was different with Castiel. She welcomed his force.

As their tongues danced with each other, Castiel began to shrug off his trench coat. Meg stopped for a brief moment and shoved away his hands. She pulled his ear close and murmured, "Don't you dare... That's my job..." She took the lobe of his ear between her teeth and bit down, making Cas gasp. She kissed down his face, nipping as she went and slowly removing his coat and tie. The sounds that escaped his mouth made her remove clothing faster.

"If you get to do that..." he exhaled. "Then, I get to do this..."

He made a mad dash to tear off her jacket and pull her top over her head. Then, he shoved her onto his bed - fumbling with the clasp of her lacey, black bra as they fell. At last, when he removed the damned thing, Meg had already removed his dress shirt and suit jacket. He brought her mouth back to his for a heated kiss and moved his hands to her perky breasts. Her nipples hardened as Cas caressed her flesh, and she released a deep, passionate moan. He then began to kiss down her neckline and further still until he reached her chest. As he continued to massage one breast, he took the other in his mouth and sucked and nibbled at the nipple. Meg's eyes opened wide as she fought to catch her breath.

As much as she loved having him in control, she wanted to return the favor Castiel had so graciously bestowed upon her. She reached out to unbuckle his belt, but Cas wouldn't let her continue. He forced her hands back, and he started to undo her belt instead. He pulled off her pants and started to kiss his way down to her already dripping wet pussy. He tugged the silky, red panties off with his teeth and grazed the sides of her thighs with his cheeks. This made her shudder. He moved back toward her pussy and let his tongue flick at her clit. Vibrations of pleasure shot through Meg's body, and she begged for more. He then proceeded to lick the juices that dripped off her labia and sucked her clit. Her hips started bucking, and Cas inserted two fingers inside of her as he lapped at the delicious fluid that flowed from her body. Just as she was getting close to climax, they heard the door of the bunker open, and Dean shout, "Meg, Cas, where are you?"

Castiel lifted his head and cursed in Enochian. 

"I guess the party's over..." Meg panted.

Cas gazed deep into her eyes - her true eyes - and growled, "I have waited far too long to end this now."

He swiftly yanked off his belt and pants and thrust himself into her pussy. He tangled his fingers in her thick blonde hair, and she dug her nails into his back as she tried to stifle the moans that tore through her body. Cas continued to pound himself into her - harder and faster. With the sounds pouring from Meg's lips and the effect Cas had left on her after his previous actions, it didn't take long for them to climax together. 

After several minutes of catching their breath, Meg and Castiel got dressed, situated themselves and flew downstairs to meet the Winchesters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Please note: Due to the immediate responses and positive reaction to my first chapter, I chose to write a second chapter right away instead of waiting a week. I hope this makes you want to continue reading.*


	3. Jack Daniel's And Letters to Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While the boys are busy, Meg decides to go buy some whiskey. Along the way, she recovers another missing piece to her current state of existence...

> "I run through glass in the street. 
> 
> Kerosene hearts carry the name that my father gave me, and take the face of the wolf. 
> 
> 'Cause this is a wasteland, my only retreat. 
> 
> With heaven above you, there's hell over me."
> 
> \- Pierce the Veil "Hell Above"

 Meg and Cas entered the main room of the bunker. They both looked as though their previous encounter had never occurred at all.

"...And that ends our tour," Castiel announced. He then looked in the direction of the Winchesters. "I apologize that we didn't come downstairs right away. I wanted Meg to see where she would be staying for this period of time."

Meg stifled a snicker.

Dean looked the two of them up and down. He squinted a little as he stared. When he was finally convinced that Cas's words were truthful, he stopped staring. "Okay," he grumbled. He fixed his eyes directly at Meg. "Just so you know, you aren't staying permanently."

"I hear you loud and clear, bowlegs," Meg drawled.

Dean glared at Meg for a brief second before he turned to Cas. "We just received more news on that sigil you saw in that abandoned factory. Sam tell him."

Sam cleared his throat. (One could see that Sam got a real kick out of reciting his research.) "So get this: it seems as though that sigil has also been found at several crime scenes of homicides in Utah. Dean figured that the two of us could drive out to Ogden since we have a contact there. You should probably head to Auburn. It looks like Gadreel is headed in that direction."

Cas grimaced at the mentioning of Gadreel's name and immediately looked at Meg. "What about Meg?"

"What about her?" Dean scoffed, "She can take care of herself."

"But we still don't know who - or what - brought her back. I just don't...want anything bad to happen to her again."

Meg reached over to pinch Cas's cheek. "Aren't you cute, Clarence? All worried about me. Trust me, I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself."

"...I'm not cute. I'm a powerful, angelic being."

"Keep telling yourself that." Meg winked. "I think I'll be heading out anyway. It's a bit stuffy in here."

"Promise me, you'll be safe."

"I still have this. Don't ask how because I have no clue." She pulled out the angel blade that she originally stole from him.

Cas tried to hide his smile. "Okay, we'll all meet up together soon."

With that, Meg darted up the stairs and out the door.

~

 

Meg walked back to the Midway Co-op Service Station she had met Sam at. She figured some alcohol might clear her head of all the nonsense Sam had told her about on their way to the bunker. Fallen angels, Metatron, Gadreel... It was all stupid to her. Why should a demon care about Heaven and all its damn issues? She was about to find out when she walked in and saw the cashier - err well, smelled the cashier. She could smell the angel dust radiating from him as soon as she walked inside. Slowly, she made her towards the counter and picked up a bottle of Jack Daniel's along the way. When she finally reached the counter, she pushed the bottle towards him.

"How much for the whiskey?" she asked quietly, refusing to meet his gaze. 

The angel got straight to the point, "Are you the demon they refer to as Meg?"

"Listen, I don't wanna have to gut you, but I will if you make any false moves..."

"There is no point in harming you, daughter of Azazel and apprentice of Alastair. You are needed."

"Yeah, right. Who exactly needs me? Don't tell me that it's you because you are a pretty pathetic-looking angel."

She could feel the angel's stare burn straight into her core. Clearly, he was offended by that remark.

"I was told to give you this letter from God himself."

He handed her the letter which was folded elegantly and sealed with a handcrafted wax stamp.

"Now, leave this place before I 'make a false move'."

"Not before I buy this bottle of whiskey..."

"Just take it and leave."

"Fine, I guess someone's pissy today." She pivoted and sashayed out of the store before the angel could bestow his wrath upon her.

_"God himself, huh? I guess I must be pretty special to have attracted the attention of the Big Man Upstairs..."_

She opened the letter and read its contents:

 

_"I presume by this point you have met up with the Winchesters and been informed of the current situation regarding the angels. I am also assuming that you are wondering why you exist, and what you have to do with the angels. All in good time, Miss Masters. Patience is a virtue. I will; however, tell you what you must do next to uncover the answers you seek. You must go to the coordinates listed at the bottom of this letter; it is necessary that you reach them immediately. It is there that you will be greeted by my most loyal angel, and he will take you to me. Then, we shall discuss the importance of your existence."_

 

The letter was not signed, but the coordinates were listed at the bottom. 

_"Well, this is fucking great. I have to deal with another douche bag angel. At least, things will finally make sense..."_

Meg downed the contents of the bottle and started to make her way to the coordinates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found myself aching to write, so I did. Plus, I felt the need to progress the story a little further. I hope you enjoy the result of my writing spree.
> 
> ♥ Jess


	4. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Meg reaches her destination, the angel who greets her isn't quite who she anticipated it to be. She finally discovers who really saved her from the Void, and why it is necessary for her to exist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of questions will finally be answered in this chapter, and things will finally start to make sense. I hope you are enjoying the story so far. Feedback is greatly appreciated! I'd love to know what you are thinking.
> 
> *Just a warning: this chapter is a little more painful to read. Continue at the risk of your own feelings.*
> 
> ♥ Jess

> "It's true.
> 
> We're all a little insane, but it's so clear now that I'm unchained.
> 
> Fear is only in our minds.
> 
> Taking over all the time."
> 
> \- Evanescence "Sweet Sacrifice"

_"This can't be the right place. Maybe, I read the coordinates wrong?"_

Meg looked around. She was at a brightly colored playground; however, there wasn't a single child to be seen. It felt like she was in the beginning of a B-rated horror flick. She walked over to a bench and sat down.

_"What a fucking waste of time... I should have known better than to trust douche bag angels."_

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath...

"Greetings, are you the demon I was sent to collect?"

She snickered at the sound of his voice. "What are you? Some sort of machine?" She sighed before turning around to face the angel, "What's your name, Robo-Angel?"

"I do not find your joke funny. I am the angel Gadreel."

Meg immediately turned to face him when he mentioned his name.

" **The** Gadreel? Like the one who let Lucifer into Eden? The one who was imprisoned for eternity? The one who is causing so many damn problems for the Winchesters? Usually, I wouldn't mind fucking with their heads, but I think you've gone too far. You've killed a lot of your own kind...and they were innocent. That's cold."

He squinted his eyes. "As if you have room to talk, you're a twisted, disgusting demon."

"True... But I've changed a great deal within these past couple years. I think I may have redeemed myself." She grinned and flashed her onyx colored eyes. "Let's get down to business, shall we? How is a fuck-up like you working with the Big Guy?"

He stared daggers at the demon. "I have redeemed myself as well."

Meg rolled her eyes and stood directly in front of Gadreel.

"You know what I think? I think that this whole thing is bullshit." Meg paused to let her words really sink in. "At first, I couldn't quite piece it all together, but I have you and 'God' figured out now. It became clear after you revealed that you were his 'most loyal angel'. Most loyal, my ass. You fucked up pretty bad, and what you did was something God wouldn't forgive. So why would you suddenly become the most loyal out of all his angels? And it was the little things like why would God save a demon and make a game out of the whole situation? Now, you and your 'God' have had your fun..." She drew the angel blade out from her jacket. "Take me to Metatron.  **Now**."

"You didn't really think I'd come alone, did you? Asariel and Purah, take care of this worthless, hideous creature."

"Huh?" Meg spun around just in time to see the two angels approach her, but it was too late to stop them. 

Everything became blurry... Then, there was darkness.

 

~

 

It wasn't like the darkness that consumed her when Crowley had stabbed her with the angel blade, so she knew she wasn't dead.

_"Well, that's relief. I don't think I'd be saved from the Void again. I need to wake up. I must wake up..."_

She finally managed to force open her eyes. But she couldn't move.

"Oh, you're awake. Lovely. It's been a week or so; I was beginning to think Asariel and Purah roughed you up a little too much. You won't be able to move your arms or legs. Special cuffs etched with the Devil's Trap. I had to take some precautions..."

"Do you talk because you like the sound of your own voice or something?"

"You have a lot of attitude for someone who is being held as a prisoner."

Meg stared at him with utter disdain. "I'm guessing you're 'God', or should I call you Metatron?"

"God has a nice ring to it. I'd actually prefer X instead"

"I'll just stick with calling you Metatron." Under her breath she muttered, "Conceited son of a bitch..."

"I'm guessing you want some answers."

"Well yeah, that's why I made the trip..."

"Let's see, I'll ask you the same question I asked your boyfriend..."

"Boyfriend?"

He gave an exasperated sigh. "Oh, don't pretend like there isn't anything between you and Castiel. I mean come on! You're not fooling anyone..." Metatron paused to adjust his jacket. "Now, let me ask my question... What makes a good story?"

"Really? You brought me back from the Void just to ask me that?" Meg chuckled.

He tried to hold his composure, but he started gritting his teeth and clenching his fists. "I'm sick of people like you making fun of the way I do things. Answer. The. Question."

"Well, my favorite story is Dante's Inferno... I guess the way he described things kept me hooked. It was pretty detailed."

He sounded irritated, "That was not the answer I was looking for."

"Then, what were you looking for? I'm sick of the games Metatron."

"Every story needs a hero and a villain. **Characters** make a good story."

"Let me guess, you want to be the good guy...and I'm your bad guy? I guess it's another classic angel versus demon..."

"WRONG!"He shouted and put his hands on his hips. "Castiel plays the villain. In fact, he's creating his army right now, and believe me, it's gonna be an amazing story."

 _"If Metatron and Clarence are the main characters, where would I fit in?"_ Meg pondered this for a moment before she pieced the puzzle together.  _"Boyfriend... He called him my boyfriend."_ _  
_

"I understand why you brought me back now. We're all just characters in your dumb story. You wanted to make this a 'good story', and what's a good story without some romance? You brought me back to play the part of Cas's **love interest**..." Meg shook her head and laughed again, "This is absolutely ridiculous. Why would you give your antagonist a love interest? What's the point if you're just gonna kill him off in the end? And why me? Why not just give him some dumb angel broad?"

Metatron's face darkened and a wicked smile played at the corners of his mouth. "Have you ever heard of Abigail Williams from 'The Crucible'?"

Meg shook her head "no" in confusion.

"You should know that she sent her own lover to his death by accusing him of witchcraft. Can you imagine that? Her own lover...what a pity..."

Meg's eyes widened at what he was implying. "You want someone else to kill Cas, so the blood isn't on your hands. That's a clever move, but I still want to know...why me?"

"Oh Meg, you act as though I know nothing about you. I've had my spies everywhere. I needed as much information as possible to make this story work. It all started when I went through Naomi's records. She chronicled Castiel's actions, while he was her puppet. One entry mentioned a demon named Meg Masters. Apparently, he had been able to talk Naomi out of having her eradicated; he convinced her that the demon was valuable to their cause. Now, why would an angel do that? Angels and demons are sworn enemies. He shouldn't care whether one lives or dies. After I did some research, I learned that you two have a...complicated relationship. He trusts you and cares about you, so who better to kill him than someone who can get close to him. Close enough to slit his throat while he sleeps."

He threw his head back and howled with horrifying laughter.

Meg tried to keep a straight face, but fear filled her. "You could never get me to do such a thing. You can slice and dice me any which way, and I still wouldn't crack."

"Who said anything about physical torture? I had something better in mind..."

 

~

 

He pushed the chair Meg was cuffed to into a dark room with a movie screen.

"You've changed ever since he kissed you, haven't you? That bit of grace entered your tormented soul and fixed a piece of you. You developed  **feelings**. You started to  **care**. In fact, you may have downright fallen  **in love** with Castiel."

He looked at her very seriously. "However, does he feel the same way about you? I'm going to show you some of my favorite clips from when he was human. That's right, he was human; I stole his grace to cast out the angels and close the gates to Heaven. I'll have you know these clips aren't just any old clips; they're clips of him with other women - other lovers per se."

Meg's voice shook as she spoke, "Clarence couldn't get a woman even if he really wanted to. Even if he paid her. Besides, why would I care? I was dead...he moved on..."

He looked her dead in the eye and whispered, "Wanna bet? I'm gonna play these clips over and over until you snap. Good luck Miss Masters, you're gonna need it."

He closed the door quietly behind him, and the screen turned on. It started with the clip of Cas and a woman named April Kelly, and after that entire clip was through, it went through a clip of the relationship between him and his employer at the Gas-N-Sip, Nora. It continuously flashed back and forth between the two clips.

At first, Meg wasn't bothered. She justified his actions by thinking,  _"He was human. I probably would've done the same thing."_

Then, she felt waves of jealousy come over her, and they hurt worse than any torture Alastair could ever come up with. After watching the clips at least one hundred times, all she could think was,  _"Did he mourn me at all? Did he even care? I cared... I died for him... Would he do the same? I wonder how quickly he moved on. I need to get out of here before I lose my fucking mind..."_

She tried to slip her hands from the hand cuffs, but they burned her wrists to the point of excruciating pain. She tried to move the chair. She tried everything to get out of that room, but she couldn't. Even when she closed her eyes, she could still hear every word he said. 

"Please, get me out of here!" she begged, "I can't take anymore! Let. Me. GO!"

But silence was the only reply.

After two hundred times of viewing the clips and memorizing everything that was happening, she felt nothing but pure anger. Pure hatred. Her eyes stared at the screen until she felt like she was burning holes through it. She stopped screaming for help. She just sat immersed in her enmity. 

At last, Metatron opened the door. He spun her chair around to face him, and he could feel her pain and rage emitting from her body. "I think we've tortured you enough, Miss Masters. It looks like you're ready to begin your training. His death must be an absolutely flawless scene, and you must play a convincing role. He cannot see this one coming."

Meg was speechless. She didn't move a muscle as he uncuffed her from the chair. "I think I'll have Constantine work with you. Yes, he will make sure you do this right."

Meg looked up at the angel who entered the room; it was the same angel from the Midway Co-op Station. He took her hand and led her out of there. No words were exchanged between them; nothing in regards to her comments from a week ago. That had all passed. She had practically become one of them - Metatron's soldiers.

Metatron sat down at his desk and began to write a new chapter on his typewriter. 

_"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."_

 


	5. Caught Up In This Two-Faced Charade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set somewhere around post Season 9 Episode 22: Stairway to Heaven and pre Season 9 Episode 23: Do You Believe in Miracles? After Metatron sends out his double agents to convert Castiel's flock, he releases Meg to eliminate his enemy once and for all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the amount of heartache that filled the end of last chapter. It hurt me to write it, but it was crucial to the story. This chapter is pretty intense, but it has its sweet parts. I hope you all enjoy it.
> 
> ♥ Jess
> 
> P.S. The title of this chapter was inspired by Famous Last Words's most recent album: Two-Faced Charade. (I must give credit where credit is due.)

> "This cannot be; it must be a dream. (More like a corrupted nightmare.)
> 
> Can't bare this harsh reality. (This can't be the end of my story.) 
> 
> She's my only destiny. (Can't be the end of my story.) 
> 
> We must create our own fate; I'll take her heart before it's too late."
> 
> \- Famous Last Words "Voices"

Meg just stared at the bookshelf and counted each volume. There must have been hundreds, but it passed the time. She had been called to have an audience with Metatron, and he still hadn't arrived.

The last time she saw him was when he had Constantine take her away from that screen. She flinched at the thought and balled her hands into fists. It had been a couple weeks since then, and so much had changed...

She finally dyed her hair. She felt she needed a new image, and she hated that fucking blonde color. Her attitude had returned to the way it was when her soul first twisted into its demonic form. Not one ounce of Castiel's grace remained in her. But most importantly, she had a new mission: eliminate Metatron's enemy - her enemy. 

"I apologize for being late. I'm still trying to organize positions for all of the newly converted angels. It's so tedious... Anyway, I didn't call you in here for you to listen to me ramble." He fixated his gaze directly into her eyes. "It is time for you to get your revenge my lovely Abigail."

Her eyes flickered to reveal their empty blackness. "Where is he located?"

"Gadreel recently discovered how to find exactly where the Winchester's hideout is located, and more likely than not, Castiel will be there. All you have to do is knock on the door. Of course, they'll let you inside because of your previous loyalty..."

He led her over to a map of Kansas and pointed to a spot marked with a 'W'. "While you take care of that issue, I will be mingling among humanity. Find me when your mission is complete."

She nodded her head and disappeared, leaving behind the smell of sulfur.

 

~

 

"Can you hear that?" asked Castiel.

Sam and Gadreel were completely concentrated on doing research regarding Metatron's new alias, Marv. "Hmm, what Cas?" mumbled Sam. "We're kinda busy..."

"I thought I heard knocking at the door. It could be Dean?"

Dean had gone missing after Sam and Cas tried to contain him in the dungeon to prevent any more incidents with the First Blade. No one had heard anything from him or learned anything about his whereabouts. Right now, Metatron was their main focus. They knew if they could find him, then they could find Dean and end this whole thing once and for all.

"Go answer the door then." With that, Sam returned to his research.

Cas sighed.  _"This whole situation is a mess..."_

He trudged up the stairs and opened the door. To his surprise, it was not Dean; it was someone he had been hoping would turn up for weeks now.

"Meg? Is that really you?" A look of relief and pure joy washed over his face. "I thought...something bad might have happened to you. It's been so long..."

He was interrupted by Meg grabbing his face and passionately kissing him. 

_"Mmmm...she tastes so sweet. I think that's peanut butter? Yes, that's exactly what it is."_

He closed his eyes and let her tongue taste the inside of his cheeks. He was so enveloped in the moment that when she stopped and let go of his face, he still had his eyes closed.

"Shut up." she chided. He opened his eyes to see that smirk she always wore so well.

"Can you at least tell me where you've been?"

"That's confidential. Just know I was in hiding; it was necessary after I found out who brought me back and why. I'll tell you all about it later..." She leaned in close and whispered, "So, wanna blow this popsicle stand?"

"More than anything, yes."

"There's a US Center Motel about 20 minutes from here, and I've already booked a room." She gave him a flirtatious wink. "I think we should head there."

He gulped and nodded.

"Oh Clarence," Meg snickered. "Don't you ever change."

 

~

 

Castiel parked the car and headed inside the building. It actually looked rather acceptable instead of revolting, which was nice for a change. Meg had already teleported herself there, and he chose to drive because of the current state of his wings. It was annoying but spending time with Meg would be worth it. It had been so long...

 _"Room 104. That's what the keys say."_ He slipped the key in the lock and slowly opened the door.

She looked up at him as he walked in, and his eyes never left her for a second. If he were still human, he would've seen a 5'4" pale beauty with long, curly black hair and one bright red streak. He would've seen how vibrant her dark lavender colored bra and thong were against her skin, and he definitely wouldn't have missed the mischievous glint in her chocolate brown eyes.

However, he wasn't a human... He was an angel, and he could see her tormented soul beneath the surface. He could see the crimson colored scales that covered her charcoal colored skin and the razor-sharp thorns that outlined her arms. He caught a glimpse of the frayed, bat-like wings that protruded from her back. He saw the scars and the burns that covered her skin from her time in Hell, and above all, he could see the intensity of her pitch-black eyes. To any other individual, she would've been a horrific sight, but to Castiel, she was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen.

She noticed his unwavering stare and beckoned him to come closer. When he was within her desired proximity, she whispered just loud enough for him alone to hear, "Fuck me, Clarence."

In response to her demand, he brought her face adjacent to his and murmured into her ear, "Meg... I would love to do that. You have no idea how badly I want to, but I was thinking we could do things a little differently this time... Instead of fucking, I would rather make love to you...just this once. I want to experience that depth of intimacy with you."

She gazed into his eyes, and he could see the surprise within them. He also saw a hint of...what appeared to be sadness. 

"We don't have to if you really don't want to..."

"Clarence..." she took in a deep breath, "Castiel, I do want to. It's just that... I've never done that with anyone before..."

"Neither have I, but if I'm going to do that with anyone, I want it to be you."

She stared at her lap and swiftly brushed away a tear.

He tilted her chin up to look him in the eyes. He tucked her hair behind her ear and softly kissed her lips. As he kissed her, he could feel her let go of all the tension that was holding her back. He watched her break down her walls and go from being a headstrong, secretive vixen to the fragile, damaged soul she really was. He wrapped his arms around her and held her. She buried her head in his neck and tenderly kissed him.

 _"It's so strange..."_ he pondered,  _"to think that a demon could possess such deep feelings within itself. Then again, she never was an average demon... She was always something more..."_

Bit by bit, they undressed each other and let their hands wander - each exploring the other with endearment.

Castiel began to run his fingers up and down Meg's thighs, and when delicate sighs escaped her lips, he caressed them even more. She reached out to feel the length of his muscular arms. Each light touch sent shivers down his spine.

"Castiel," she breathed, "Can I do what I wanted to do for you last time?"

He looked into her eyes, nodded and rolled over onto his back. She leaned over him and brushed her lips against his. Then, she slowly kissed her way down his body. When she reached his member, she wrapped one hand around it, while the other hand rubbed his balls between her palm and fingers. The first hand began to pump, and the other hand moved to the head to stroke it gingerly. 

The sounds of pleasure he made only encouraged her to satisfy him further. She grazed the tip with her lips causing him to jump a little. Gradually, she took him into her mouth - continuing to pump as she did so. She licked the shaft up and down and sucked at a mild pace. She swirled her tongue around it. He threw his head back and moaned, "Meg..." 

She could tell he was getting close to finishing, so she slowly removed him from her mouth. She placed a hand on his cheek and kissed him gently. He parted his lips as she continued to kiss him in that way that drove him wild. Her tongue entered his mouth and tenderly moved along the inside of his cheek. He traced the outline of her body ever so carefully and proceeded to move his hands back up to her chest to feel her supple breasts. He massaged her nipples between his index fingers and thumbs - causing her to gasp. Suddenly, he took one into his mouth and caressed it with his tongue. He shifted one hand to her hip to hold her steady and inserted two of his fingers inside of her slippery pussy. He moved them leisurely at first and began to pick up the pace as she begged and moaned.

He quickly rolled her onto her back and removed his fingers. When he looked down at her, she gave him a pleading look. He smiled at her and lifted her legs onto his shoulders. He kissed and tongued at her skin until he reached her pussy once again. He started to tease her with his tongue - touching it slightly to her most sensitive parts. Then, he licked her up and down, and he twirled his tongue against her clit. He continued to make eye contact with her, so he could see the affect he was having on her. She softly uttered his name, sighed, gasped and moaned. She grinded carefully against his mouth, and he increased his pace. 

As she got close to climaxing, he shrugged her legs off his shoulders and entered her. Their fingers interlocked, and he rocked into her rhythmically. She held him tightly against her and closed her eyes.

"Oh Clarence..." she exhaled, "Cas - ca - ca - ca - **CASTIEL!** " 

She screamed as the shocks flowed through her entire being - causing Castiel to cum as well, and he called out her name like she called out his - all passion and fire engulfing the two of them. 

When it was all over, he moved off her and laid next to her. Eventually, he wrapped his arms around her waist, and she snuggled up against him. 

"I wish it could always be like this..." she finally whispered. 

"Me too, Meg. Me too."

 

~

 

As the day turned to night, Castiel drifted into a state of meditation. Meg swiftly removed herself from his arms without disturbing him. She shakily tried to stand up... Walking wasn't easy especially after something so spectacular as that. She sat back down on the edge of the bed and attempted to collect her thoughts. 

All at once, it came back to her. She remembered her mission and more importantly, her heartache.

She reached for her bag under the bed and pulled out the angel blade - the same angel blade she had stolen from him when they kissed for the first time. It would be a sick twist of fate that he would die by his own weapon...

In an instant, she stood over Castiel with the blade in hand. She raised it high above her head.

_"This is it. It will all be over in a matter of seconds..."_

But she couldn't move. She just stood there and watched his still form that seemed to be deep in thought. That beautiful, stupid angel just had to come into her life. He just had to **kiss** her right back and with so much passion. He just had to call her a **"thorny beauty"**. He just had to **bandage her wounds**. He just had to  **care** about her...

She just had to fall  **in love** with him. Of all the creatures in existence, it just had to be **him**. 

That grace she thought was eradicated from her body returned once more. It healed bits and pieces of her tormented soul. It reminded her of everything Metatron tried to get her to forget. All those subtle moments where Cas showed that he really did care; even though, she was a demon.  

She threw the angel blade across the room and fell to her knees in tears.

_"I can't... I won't do it... I'd rather die than kill him."_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I could've published this sooner, but between writer's block and dealing with allergies, I didn't have the ability. However, I already have so many ideas for the next chapter, so you're certain to see it soon.
> 
> ♥ Jess


	6. The Untold Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel awakens from his meditation after hearing a troubling cacophony only to find Meg in tears on the floor. She finally explains who brought her back and why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, I was able to post a chapter that was simply sweet. Conversation takes place between Meg and Cas that resolves some questions you may have been harboring. I hope you enjoy it despite how short it may be.
> 
> ♥ Jess
> 
> P.S. Thank you for continuing with the positive feedback. It inspires me to write more.

> "If I let you in, you'd just want out.
> 
> If I tell you the truth, you'd vie for a lie.
> 
> If I spilt my guts... it would make a mess we can't clean up.
> 
> If you follow me, you will only get lost.
> 
> If you try to get closer, we'll only lose touch.
> 
> But you already know too much, and you're not going anywhere."
> 
> \- Bring Me The Horizon feat. Lights "Don't Go"

Castiel was startled awake by the sound of something crashing into the wall of the hotel room. He reached out in front of him and realized that Meg was no longer there.

He immediately sat up and called out, "Meg? Are you still here?"

The only response was quiet sobs coming from the floor.

Using his telekinesis, he flicked the lights and turned towards the noise.

"Oh Meg..." he reached down to lift her head to look at him. "Why are you crying? Did I do something wrong? Please, come sit next to me."

She stood up, wiped the tears from her face and took a seat on the edge of the bed.

"I wasn't crying. Demons don't cry, Clarence."

"Clearly, there is something upsetting you. You can't lie to me; I **know** you were just crying. Besides, you aren't just **any** demon... not to me anyway."

The corners of her mouth raised slightly. Then, she sighed, "Before I tell you what's wrong, I should probably explain why I was missing for several weeks."

The look on his face signaled her to go on.

She told Castiel all about the notes, meeting Gadreel, discovering Metatron brought her back and waking up in Metatron's office about a week later.

She grimaced, "Here's the part where it gets a little more complicated. Apparently, Metatron knew that we have this..."

She struggled to think of a good term. "...thing between the two of us, and he planned on using it to his advantage."

"What do you mean? How did he know anything about you?" Cas was very puzzled over the whole matter.

"He had his ways of finding things out - spies, Naomi's files on you... He used that knowledge to come up with a plan to bring you down, and unfortunately, I was the leading lady in his master plan."

She started cracking her knuckles and fidgeting a little. 

"I wasn't gonna let him use me. I thought I could take anything he threw at me." 

Meg looked at him, and her eyes revealed a deep-set agony.

"What did he do to you?" She could hear his voice growing with rage.

"The torture was not physical. It was psychological."

He relaxed a little, but he still bristled with anger. "Please, tell me what he did to you. I want to help you through this."

"Cas, after the last time you saw me, did you ever think of looking for me?"

"I don't see what that has to do with..."

She cut him off, "Can you just answer the question?"

"At first, no. I figured you were in hiding, and I had to deal with the angel tablet. As time passed, I grew more worried about you, but I didn't even know where to begin to look for you. You have to understand that I still cared about you. There were just so many issues going on at the same time..."

"What about when you were human?"

He looked shocked. "How did you find out about that?"

"Metatron revealed that piece of information for me. Then, he proceeded to show me some clips of your little "adventures" as a human."

Slowly, the fury built up in her voice, "Over and over again, I had to watch as you fucked April Kelly and longed to be with Nora. It shouldn't have bothered me, but all I could think as I watched was if you ever gave a damn about me. I sure did. I fucking died, so that you could escape with that tablet. Did you really care, Clarence? Did I ever fucking matter? Because I **loved** you, and for a moment there, I could have sworn you felt the same way."

She stood up and scoffed, "But I was wrong. I was just another woman who walked in and out of your life. Who could ever love a demon, right?"

One moment, Castiel was in bed, and the next moment, he was standing in front of her. His face revealed how deep her words cut him.

"You are dead wrong, Meg."

He looked at the ground before he continued, "I guess Metatron failed to mention my alias when I was human..."

Now, it was her turn to look confused.

He looked back up at her and put a hand on her face, "It was Clarence. I called myself Clarence, and every single time someone said that name I thought of you."

Her gaze softened. She was about to respond, but he continued, "I bet he didn't mention that I loved the taste of peanut butter because it tasted like you. I bet he didn't mention that when April kissed me, I closed my eyes and pretended it was you the whole time. Every inch of her I touched, I dreamed it was your body I was feeling. Every moan... Every sigh... I imagined was escaping your beautiful mouth. And Nora... Don't get me started on Nora. I did **not** have any actual feelings for her. I just wanted to try to be human, and I knew dating was a part of that."

He let what he said sink in.

"My point is that you were and still are the only being I've ever cared about that much...and I **love** you too. I don't care that you're a demon. When I look at you, I see Meg Masters - my caretaker, my friend, my lover - not just some demon. You are so much **more**."

Tears filled her eyes and a genuine smile crossed her lips.

"Now, I don't care what Metatron's plan is. All I know is that we're going to stop it. This ends **now**."

 


	7. To Dust You Shall Return...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a heart-warming conversation takes place between Meg and Castiel, they make plans to take down Metatron. When the unforeseen takes place, what will they do to change their fate?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do want to apologize for the shortness of the last chapter. In my head, I anticipated more dialogue to take place, but in the end, that's not what happened. This chapter will be much longer and much better in my opinion. 
> 
> It will; however, be the conclusion to part one of this series. (Of course, I plan on exemplifying this story. It can't end here. It simply can't.) So, be prepared to read the next chapter in this sequence of misadventures between Cas and Meg. I promise I will jump-start on it as soon as possible. In the meantime, I'll post a few one-shots and whatnot. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Once again, feedback is always appreciated. Thank you for making this story possible. Without readers, my writing would be pointless.
> 
> P.S. Once again, I apologize for not getting this out by the expected date. Distractions... Distractions... Dear me...
> 
> ♥ Jess

> "If your heart stops beating,
> 
> God rest my soul,
> 
> Dig this grave for two,
> 
> Can't live without you.
> 
> It’s hard enough to face the world alone...
> 
>  
> 
> You are the one I waited for,
> 
> I knew it all along."
> 
> \- blessthefall feat. Lights "Open Water"

Before the angel and the demon realized it, the sun had begun to rise, and the light began to creep into the cracks of the blinds covering the windows. At this point in time, the two had finally gotten dressed and were ready to discuss their plan to conclude Metatron's "story".

"Meg, do you still have the note that states the coordinates of Heaven's Gate?"

She flashed him a wicked smile and handed him the note.

"How else would I be able to meet up with Metatron to tell him of how I took your angelic ass down?"

"So, it's agreed then? You'll meet Asariel and Purah at the gate at **exactly**  noon and tell them of your completed mission. I will be hiding nearby. After they open the gate, signal me by whistling the tune of a mockingjay..."

"Why the 'tune of a mockingjay', cloudhopper?"

"Haven't you ever heard of the Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins?"

"No, I don't see how you would have heard of it either. You don't read..."

"Well, I'm very pop culture savvy now."

Meg rolled her eyes. "I'm sure you are Clarence..."

"Anyway, the tune goes like this..." He whistled three notes for her.

"Gotcha. I'll remember that... Back to the plan?"

"Of course, I'll attack Purah, and you'll 'take down' Asariel. Then, we'll enter Heaven and kill Metatron."

"Hah! It won't be that easy. You need more stealth in your plan, and an idea of where you're going. Once we get inside, I take over. You listen to me. I know where we're going, and I have a better battle plan. Trust me, Clarence, I know what I'm talking about."

Castiel sighed. "I know, Meg. I just really want this all to be over."

"Relax." She looked at him sincerely but kept that smirk on her face.

"When this is all over..."

He put a finger to her lips.

"Don't say it. Last time you said that... something bad happened. Meg, I can't lose you again. After knowing what happened these past two times... I don't want to think of anything bad happening to you... I - I - I..."

A tear rolled down his face, and he was at a loss for words.

She reached out and grabbed his hand.

"Tell you what, Cas. I know someone who knows the new Heaven as well as I do."

He sniffled a bit. "Who?"

"When I came to visit you at the bunker, I saw a familiar face - Gadreel; he was Metatron's second in command. If anyone knows his way around, it's him. You two should meet up and take out Metatron together."

"How will we do it?"

"You'll figure out something. I'm sure you have plenty of ideas from all your 'pop culture savviness'. Meanwhile, I'll hang out here; I could use a break."

She cast a quick wink at him. "Hit me up when it's all said and done."

"You know I will."

He leaned down to kiss her forehead, and with that, he was gone.

It was hard to hide that dumb smile creeping at the edges of her lips again. He had that effect on her. 

She shook her head, sighed and went over to her bag. 

_"Thank Lucifer, it's still here."_

She pulled out a bottle of Old No. 7. 

_"I deserve this. For once, I deserve to just get drunk and not care about all these damn problems."_

She closed her eyes and put the bottle to her lips.

 

~

 

_"Damn... It's fucking empty..."_

She made it all the way to the bottom of the bottle. It probably would've killed the pretty girl from Cheboygan, but it hardly had an effect on Meg. If anything, her vision was a little blurred, and she felt slightly out of it. 

"Hello whore."

A familiar voice sounded from somewhere in the room, but Meg couldn't see its owner.

"Crowley..." her words slurred. "What in the nine circles of Hell are you doing here?"

"I'm not really here, you ignorant twat."

"Where are you then?"

"This is all in your head."

She groaned, "Is this a fucking hallucination? My drink must've been laced with some crazy shit..."

"Hmm...you're getting warmer. Try thinking a little harder."

Suddenly, her head started pounding. Her eyes squeezed shut, and when she opened them again, she was laying on wet pavement.

"Miss me?"

Crowley leaned over her with an angel blade in hand.

She scoffed and shook her head. "You smarmy dick..." 

"So whore, do you understand what's happening?"

"Hmm...let's see...my head fucking aches...so that must mean... I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING CLUE!"

She gripped the side of her head. "I'm done with all these shitty games... You and Metatron would be great friends... Clearly, you're gonna have to spell it out for me. I don't see why one second I was drinking in a motel room; then, the next second I'm back where I was before my soul lit up and turned to dust."

"Let's put it this way, I am not real - not right here right now anyway. Nothing around you is real. You're just dying all over again, darling. Your head is recreating your final scene."

"I'm confused...how is this happening...?"

"Metatron could only bring you back temporarily. The only one who could bring you back for good is God himself, and face the facts, he would never do that for a demon. So, the Void is finally calling you home."

Panic welled up inside of her. She tried to crawl backwards on her elbows.

"No, I can't... I can't do that to Castiel... It would destroy him..."

"Too late."

This time as the blade pierced through her, it hurt twice as much... She knew all that she was leaving behind. She knew the look that would be on Cas's face when he found her body back at the motel. She knew he would cradle the vessel and try to bring her soul back...only to fail.

There was no use in fighting it. As the darkness consumed her, she sung the words, "Goodbye stranger... It's been nice... Hope you find your paradise..."

 

~

 

"Hannah... We will discuss this later. Let me speak with Metatron alone. You can trust me... I won't kill him."

She nodded and walked away swiftly.

After he was sure that Metatron and himself were the only ones in the prison, he gripped the bars and shouted, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT WAS ONLY TEMPORARY?!"

Earlier when Castiel was trapped by Metatron, he had mentioned two very important things to upset Cas:

1\. Dean was dead.

2\. The spell keeping Meg on Earth had worn off.

He knew that Dean would be easier to save since he was human. His soul would either go to Hell or remain on Earth. He could just bring him back again. It  wouldn't be the first time he had done so. Still, he didn't like the thought of his best friend being run through by this arrogant motherfucker.

Now, Meg's situation was impossible. There was no knowledge of the Void. He was shocked that the Angel tablet had given a spell to  **temporarily** return a soul - angelic or demonic - from the damned place.

"I'm sorry, Castiel. That's just how the dice roll."

Now, he was beyond pissed off and nearly ripped the bars off of the cell.

"TELL ME HOW TO BRING HER BACK!" he roared.

"Easy! Calm down! Listen, she wasn't the only soul I brought back from the Void..."

Cas stopped shaking the bars. He remembered now. There was only one person - one angel - who could save her now.

 

_Gabriel._

 


End file.
